And the Rain Fell Down
by Ryuko-chan
Summary: Zelgadis finally gets what he's always desired.. But at what price?


And the rain fell down  
  
The rain fell down, pitter, patter, on the verdant foliage of the forest. A lone figure, lay under a tree, resting. He ran a gloved hand through his dusky reddish-blue hair. Idly he combed his fingers through it, sighing pensively.  
  
*This is one of the only benefits, ne? Soft, so very soft. And yet, I might have liked it better.* he sighed. This was a topic he had dwelt too much on in the past years. This and the others.  
  
*And it hurt. so much, when I realized I couldn't fight for them anymore, I was too weak.* Weakness had become a part of his life, the weakness he hadn't felt for so many years. It had happened right after the group reconvened. Some-odd years ago. There was an attraction, some event. He couldn't even remember it now. They had all come together, like it was fate. He remembered the reunion like it was yesterday.  
  
"ZEL!!" Lina had shouted, recognizing him from across a crowded square. In her immature joy she had run up to him and hugged him, sending shivers of revulsion down his spine. Not for her, but for the position he was in. They were all. watching him. Amelia was there, too. Free, and yet not free. Her family had sent her to this city, to this place, to see what the commotion was about. They had all been reunited, and it was like a dream. Like the dreams he had had for so long. It had been years since the last time any of them had seen each other, except of course, Lina and Gourry, who had stayed together through it all. Zel remembered thinking that they really were made for each other. In light of the new meeting, and the fact that no one wanted to separate for a while, everyone went with him, to the town he was headed for. He heard good things about this place, good things about the universities. He had casually mentioned it to Lina, who had retorted with a crass.  
  
"You want to find your cure, ne?" he had raised an eyebrow, but sighed and nodded. He was still ever questing for that one thing, that one remedy, that one far-off horizon that would give him back his humanity. And he knew that's what he wanted. Or he thought he did.  
  
Zel sighed, fingering his reddish locks. His hands were a pale color, not unlike that of his grandfather. But he never had the power of his grandfather, or the patience to become a great sage. It was his downfall. Of course, as his life as a chimera progressed, he had learned patience. He had needed to learn it. But patience wasn't enough. And even though his years as a freak of nature helped him, he hated what he had become. Foolishly. He remembered when they finally found it, and what joy he had felt. It seemed so trivial now, now that the cure was in his hands. Yet, there was a hysterical fear in him, that was hard to analyze. Partly it was his fear of the cure not working, partly it was his fear of the cure being destroyed, but partly, it was a fear that in some way plagued him all his life. What if he didn't like it? This fear had followed him, though he had never voiced it. He always had to seem like it was his goal in life to find this cure. Deep inside, he had thought it couldn't be done. Deep inside, he had liked it better being a chimera. Lina, Amelia, and Gourry had been scared, too. They knew that it had been his goal for so long. They just wanted him to be happy. And they. Liked him the was he was. But, foolishly, stupidly, he had performed the incantation, he had gone through the motions. And the light had surrounded him, and he had experienced terrible pain. He collapsed to the ground, unconscious, but. Human. Whole again. Amelia had screamed. He heard her, in the back of his mind. She had screamed.  
  
"HE'S DEAD! NO! HE'S DEAD!" over and over again. Lina was grim, and she stepped forward. She put her cool hand on his neck, and felt a steady heartbeat. Her face was overcome by relief.  
  
"No." she said softly, "He's alive." Zel had gotten up, and stared at his hands for the longest time. They were flesh. He tore off his gloves and mask, and cloak, and would have torn off more, had he been alone. The flesh, he was flesh again! Gourry had been awestruck.  
  
"Zelgadis. you're human." He had said reverently. Zel had laughed.  
  
"Yeah, I guess so." He had said. Amelia was crying, and so was Lina.  
  
"Mr. Zelgadis, oh Mr. Zelgadis, look at you, you're beautiful." She said softly.  
  
"Zel." Lina had said, almost confirming it as him. But then, the rejection had started. The simple, soft moment ended as Zelgadis grunted, clutching his chest, which had started burning painfully, and then fell to the floor in a dead faint. Lina got up, and Gourry carried him into the town. He had awoken to clenching pains in his stomach. The pain of hunger. He ate, and smiled as he did, watching Lina and Gourry eat and comparing it to his eating. He seemed to be outpacing them. Amelia had been reverent at his flesh, asking to touch his hand, if only for a brief moment. He let her, and smiled at her curious press. The feeling was so natural to him now. That was the last happy day. And though he hadn't fully explored his reactions with his body, his limits, he knew, and there was a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. Traveling, human, on the road with Lina, Gourry, and Amelia, was more dangerous to him than he ever could have guessed.  
  
Zel felt a small tear traveling daintily down his cheek. He could have been happy, staying with his friends for all time, traveling with them for what he knew would be adventures. But, he had to ruin it all by becoming human. The first day was the last, for him. He had run into the fray, rather than watching his friends be pursued at close range by bandits and monsters. And the first moment, was shot down by a spell from the opposition. He had tried to cast a spell, a simple spell, and nothing happened. He was open for a spell from the opposing force, and they took it, throwing a fireball into his chest. The explosion of pain, the burning acidic pain engulfed him. He passed out. When he awoke, the bandits were gone, and the monsters were dead, and he was being healed by Lina and Amelia. Amelia smiled weakly.  
  
"You're going to be okay, Mr. Zelgadis, you just got hit with a fireball, that's all." She said. Lina grinned.  
  
"It'll take more than a mere fireball to take out our new human Zel!" she shouted, falsely brightly. Zel tried to smile but he couldn't. he knew what she said wasn't true. He had tried to protect them, and failed. He realized now what that sinking feeling had been. He would die in the company of his only friends. The only people who ever saw him not as a chimera, but as a person. And though they made fun of him sometimes, he knew that they were his true friends. Who else could snap him out of a depression like them? And who knows how many times they'd all saved each other's lives? And now. He couldn't. He got up, brushing the two girls off him. He had said, in a monotone.  
  
"I can't be here anymore." They had all gasped.  
  
"But, Mr. Zelgadis, why?" Amelia had asked, eyes wide, and tear filled. He turned away from all of them, lest they see his devastatingly human tears.  
  
"I can't help any of you now. I'm useless without.." he paused. Lina walked up to him, and put her hand on his warm, soft shoulder.  
  
"You can't use magic anymore, can you Zel?" she asked, softly. Zel had smiled a self-deprecating smile.  
  
"No. I can't," he said. Amelia gasped, "And I'm not fast, and I'm not strong, and I'm not resistant to any attack, and I'm not worth it. Not anymore." Gourry had frowned.  
  
"Zelgadis, even if you're weaker now, we can't just abandon you when you most need us.." he had said. Lina had nodded.  
  
"That's what we're for, we can't just leave you, we're your friends." She had said. Amelia had not said a word, just stared up at him with tears running down her cheeks. Zel had ignored that.  
  
"You don't have to abandon me, I'm abandoning you. I can't let you get killed on my account. And now you are all thousands of times stronger than me. It would be a waste for you to die in my place. I can't use magic, I don't have an enchanted sword, and I am not good at hand to hand combat, not anymore. I can't let you be killed, because I am weak." He walked off into the night, trying to ignore Lina and Amelia's tears, and Gourry's steadfast stare, a look that told him he was doing the wrong thing. Trying not to think about how many times Lina had pulled him from a funk, or how many times Gourry had saved his life, or. Or how much Amelia loved him.  
  
And so, here he was, all alone, with no friends any more. After the change, he hadn't allowed himself any friends. Now, it wasn't because he thought he was a freak, it was because he knew he was powerless. And though he knew he would have done it, no matter what, he wished somehow he hadn't performed that cure. He had been so much happier when he was a chimera. Even though he had been a manic depressive. He had still been happier.  
  
*Ironic, ne? The one thing I'm sure will make me happy causes me nothing but pain. I really do have the worst luck.* Except that wasn't exactly right, he had as much good luck as the next guy, but he was impatient. Was. And he was idealistic. Was. And he was someone who set his sights too high. Still is. The rain tapered off, leaving a moisture hanging in the air. Zelgadis often wondered why they hadn't followed him, when he had left.  
  
*Perhaps they knew I was right, or perhaps they just, didn't want to cause me any more pain. They must have known this time that I was serious.* He got up, walking through the soaking paths. He had kept on traveling, never settling down, never allowing anyone to join him, never causing trouble. Anyone who had considered him an enemy couldn't recognize him now, except.. A lone figure stood in the wash of fog. A figure who had followed him periodically.  
  
"Oh, my, Zelgadis Greywers, fancy meeting you here." Xelloss said mockingly. Zelgadis ignored him totally, he was not confident enough to make any kind of attack, and not angry enough to risk it. Besides, sometimes Xelloss brought news along with his secrets.  
  
"Zelgadis, did you know that the princess is near here?" Xelloss said calmly. Zel ignored him.  
  
"Zelgadis, did you know that Gourry and Lina have been talking about you? They miss you." He said. Zel ignored him, he had had so much practice over the last years. Xelloss smiled. It was now time to drop the bomb that he had been building up for all these years following the human Zelgadis around. He stopped, hovering in mid-air, as Zelgadis walked forward.  
  
"Zelgadis, did you know that I can return your chimera form to you?" Zel stopped dead in his tracks, and turned around. His eyes were wide, so wide, in fact that they were nearly perfect circles.  
  
"I.." he said, then he frowned, "Don't believe you." He said. Xelloss smiled.  
  
"Yes, well, whether you believe me or not doesn't really matter. I know I can do it, and if you decide to not believe it, it doesn't really matter to me." He said nonchalantly. Zel grimaced, a cute expression on his mortal flesh.  
  
"You lie. If you could, what's the catch?" he asked, anger washing over him in waves. Xelloss feigned disappointment.  
  
"Why, Zelgadis, I'm hurt, you don't believe me, the man who tipped you off to the location of your cure?" he said. Zel glared at him, open hatred in his eyes.  
  
"You knew. You knew, you damned bastard." He said, eyes glowing. Xelloss smiled.  
  
"Well, I see you need a little time to think. I'll come back tomorrow night, see you soon!" he said, warping out and away, and leaving Zel with nothing but his thoughts. Zel plopped down in the middle of the path, more from mental exhaustion than physical.  
  
*But, I would be able to join them again, even though I'd be a freak, once again. Wasn't I saying just a moment ago that I would be happier?*  
  
"WOULD I?" he screamed to the sky. The rain started again, and Zel shivered. Now he could feel the bite of the cold.  
  
The time came, and Xelloss appeared. He smiled, opening one eye.  
  
"So, Zelgadis, what is your decision?" he asked. Zel grunted something, "What was that?" Xelloss asked. Zel glared up at him.  
  
"Do it. Make me a chimera again." He said. Xelloss smiled.  
  
"So, you'd rather be a freak with friends than a totally normal person who can't afford them?" he asked smugly. Zel nodded sharply, the soft hair of his head bobbing. Xelloss smiled, "Well, then, I can do nothing but grant your wish." He said enigmatically. He warped out and away. Zel's eyes widened, but the mysterious priest was gone. His hands balled into fists.  
  
"DAMN YOU XELLOSS!" he shouted impotently.  
  
"That's it!" Lina shouted exuberantly.  
  
"Mr. Zelgadis, that's your cure!" Amelia said.  
  
"Rezo must have had a back up sent to this university!" Lina said, studying it intently. Zelgadis was rapt on the piece of paper. Lina held it up to the light to read it. Just then..  
  
"Hey Zel!" Lina said, snapping the chimera from his reverie, "What are you thinking about?" she asked. Zel shrugged.  
  
"Just thinking about. that." he trailed off dejectedly.  
  
"The cure again, Mr. Zelgadis?" Amelia said sympathetically. Zel nodded, wire hair bristling, but not moving. Gourry smiled weakly.  
  
"That was years ago, Zelgadis, no use dwelling on the past." He said, shrugging. Lina nodded.  
  
"Besides, that couldn't have been the only copy.." Lina said. Zel sighed, repeating the litany that came to his lips every time Lina said that.  
  
"No, I know that it was the last one." He sighed, "I was just thinking about how it was destroyed." He said.  
  
"Green fire.." Zel and Lina said together. Amelia smiled.  
  
"Well, even if you are still a chimera, our friendship is eternal, Mr. Zelgadis!" she said, grinning. Zel sighed. There was a part of him that ached when the cure was gone to him, and yet, there was a part of him that was proud, right now. He felt like he made a sacrifice for something very important, he just wasn't sure what. And he wasn't sure whether or not he should have. But.. deep inside, he didn't regret whatever that decision was. And he was thankful he had Lina, Gourry, and Amelia, to get him through losing it. Somehow, it didn't seem that important, anymore. And for some strange reason, he was happy. He glanced out the window of the tavern.  
  
"Huh, it's raining." He said.  
  
"Yeah, good thing we're in here where it's warm!" Lina shouted, relaxing on her chair, and putting her feet on the table. An errant flash of lightning lit a tree outside the window for a split-second, and the inhabitant of that tree smiled.  
  
*You got your wish, Zelgadis..* And he was happy with the results, whether he liked it or not. 


End file.
